Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Why I hate gyms... Mainly Gold's Gym

Well obviously someone like me is going to hate the gym. I love video games, anime, comics, and movies. I hate doing physical activity and I especially hate people who think they are tough shit. So the gym is pretty much my Htrae (Bizarro World to those who don't read comics. Read the Htrae backwards...)

If Haruhi went to Gold's Gym I'd be set!

I subscribed to a year long membership at Gold's Gym for a reason. I would pay $35 a month for a year with no cancellations. If I was to pay by the month it would be $45-$50. So I figured do the year long would actually force me to go to the gym more! And that's what I signed up for. Unfortunately for me, I would not only have a lot of family problems that would prevent me from using my car, but I also had a bike I could ride but then got HIT by another car. I survived, but the bike was damaged. Figures!

So I basically signed up for a gym membership that was draining $34.99 out of my bank account every month, for a year, and I think I went a total of 10 times. Solid right??? Obviously wrong. Now yes it's my own fault for not being able to go. Oh well. But the whole experience there was absolutely disgusting! Sure they had amazing equipment and a whole lot of space which is nice but sadly it was just filled with self centered meat-heads ( though that description might be redundant).

But what really upset me was the receptionists. Given that it was mainly guys in this gym, they hired two different women to run the desk. And only two. One had the Pam Beasley look (from The Office, who I found hella cute!) and then there was the woman I dub Matsumoto!

Matsumoto is a character from the manga/anime Bleach.

Now what distinguishing features do you believe the woman at Gold's Gym's shares with this character in order for me to call her the opposite of Pam Beasley?? Just take a shot in the dark...

They have this women, "Matsumoto" not only man the front desk, but then strut around and flirt with the meat heads (which there are many!!!!) to obviously boost their egos and get them to continue coming. I was on the treadmill one day busting my ass off and I watched one of the managers come out of the backroom, walkover to Matsumoto, and point out a dude that was flirting with her earlier. She gets up, walks over to him doing cardio (jacked dude like that needs cardio since it's right next to the front chest......SHIT, I mean front desk!!! I'm sorry. Front DESK) And she just strokes his ego in this amazing manner. He was butter in her palms...

Now the Pam Beasley girl is amazing! And for good reason. She is supposed to lure in fat guys that think they might have a chance with her. They know Matsumoto is out of their league, but these guys are coming to the gym to work on that and Pam Beasley is the best motivation. She is the girl they can actually probably get. I personally prefer the Pam over the Matsumoto. This girl is fucking amazingly cute, and Matsumoto is a tramp.

Observing the whole gym scenario makes me want to vomit. But that's just my gym by the way! Don't let my thoughts swing you from trying to work out! Just stay away from Gold's Gym. And here's the best reason why!

I subscribed to a year long membership that I barely used. So when I called the the other day and here is how it went down...

Me: Hey, I just finished my yearlong membership.

GoldsMember: OK...

Me: And I wanted to check my account. I just got billed even though my membership is over. As I said, only one year I signed up.

GoldsMember: (typing..............) Ok yeah! Well your membership is going to continue over the year unless you cancel it.

Me: Ok well that's why I'm calling. I'm gonna cancel now.

GoldsJERKFACE: Well you're going to have to write a letter. It can either be mailed to us or you can bring in the letter yourself to our Gold Gym.

Me: I have to WRITE a LETTER? That I can either mail or bring into you personally?

GoldsJERKFACE: Yes that's all you have to do.

Me: But I'm telling you right now. End it.......now.

JERKFACE: I can't do that sir....

Me: Fine, see ya soon....

I'm going to write a letter at work tomorrow and print it out (since I don't have a working printer at home) Since they wouldn't answer my questions or tell me how to format my letter I am going to give it to them strait up. I might even take photos of it happening, why not...?

Stay tuned for said letter...


Anonymous said...

Okay, your first problem is that you're a member of Gold's Gym. Nothing but beefcakes & gym snob there. When I signed up for a gym I tried to find one where I could tell the people who went there were pretty average in skill. So it's less intimidating and I'm more likely to actually go :p

I also notice that only women tend to work at the front desk of places like that. But, to be fair, I also hear that if you are a women and apply to a gaming store (like GameStop) you are TONS more likely to get the job. Because there is nothing nerds like more than to talk to nerdy girl, I assume.

But LOL at having to write a LETTER to get your membership canceled. When I left Hawaii I called to cancel mine and they said I had to come down there in person, show two forms of ID and sign some papers. I didn't have to do half that much work to sign up!

What a bunch of meatpie/vampire/seductresses!

Seantaku said...

Sorry! I didn't scope out multiple gym's! lol. I chose the one that was closest to my house.