Wednesday, March 13, 2013

McDonald's Rage

There's a reason I refer to Walmart as "Hive. Scum. Villainy." Once in a Blue Moon I will find myself there to check out their assortment of shirts (Read: Superheros and Star Wars) and in the 10 minutes I was there today it took every ounce of my being not to Hulk Out on the masses.

I've lost a ridiculous amount of weight recently but every once in awhile I gotta indulge myself. There's a McDonald's inside the Walmart and I'd been meaning to try out their new Onion Bacon Cheddar burger so I figured why the hell not. With only two people in front of me I thought this would be quick and painless but the old lady before me wasn't quite ready and instead of letting me go ahead I had to stand and wait for her to look over the menu. Her husband wobbled over on his cane and proceeded to do the same. Whatever, their old, I can deal. I'm in no rush.

It's during this 5 minute waiting period a McDonald's employee comes out and flips the Breakfast menu sign to the normal menu. It was this moment where two individuals walked in and the change in menu was the last thing they wanted to see. The woman, lets call her "Gilbert Grape's Mom" let out a "ARE YOU KIDDING ME?" and her boyfriend, who reminded me of Chi McBride of Boston Public fame, was equally displeased. Their anger echoed through the restaurant for everyone to hear. This was not fair and they were going to make their voices heard, much to all our dismay, and since they took their place in line right behind me I was lucky enough to get it all directly in my ear.

Finally it's my turn. Being ready for the past 7 minutes I ask for two burgers and am quickly told "we're not doing that let." This puzzles me as the other employee who switched the sign is trying to calm GG's Mom and Chi McBride because they are being denied breakfast. The whole situation doesn't make sense as I find myself in some sort of breakfast/lunch limbo but I play their game and cautiously asked for 2 Egg McMuffins.

Sorry Sean, they only have ONE Egg McMuffin. *Sigh* Alright, fine. Gimmie one so I can get the fuck out of here and learn my lesson to never do this again. While I'm waiting for the food I didn't even really want, GG's Mom and Chi are raging louder than ever. They don't understand why they can't get their Egg McMuffins and incessantly point at a big decal sign sticking in the window that says "2 Egg McMuffins for $3." Now I'm laughing because I know this is not going to end well for them as I just ordered the very last Egg McMuffin. The cashier lady is simply taking in all their hate and I can see it in her face she's about to crack. GG's Mom doesn't grasp the fact that the sign in the window doesn't represent the amount of Egg McMuffins they have in stock and continues to push the cashier's buttons.

The whole restaurant is looking in our direction and I'm starting to feel pretty uncomfortable. Obviously the cashier was too and she gave in.

"How many Egg McMuffins do you want?"

I did a double take. Wait..The hell? But you told me...

GG's Mom: Finally! Jesus..I want two and he wants two. That's what we came for! Look! We have our $6 right here!

Cashier: There's tax too.

GG's Mom: *Long pause. Turns to Chi* Do you have any change?


My number is called and the woman hands me my bag, "One Egg McMuffin, right?" Since I'm clearly agitated I reply, "Apparently, since I seemed to have ordered in the 5 second gap where you ran out."

The whole situation was ridiculous and I'm not even mad they lied to me, really. It's just frustrating if you act like a big enough asshole, or throw up enough of a stink, you'll get your way.


Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Days of Future Past

I know it's been awhile but I'm writing today because I reached a point of happiness I hadn't felt in over a decade. Seriously, it's been that long. Sure, I would pretend I was happy a lot but on the inside not so much. Sobriety is awesome, first and foremost. I'm up at 8am every day, work or no work, and between the time I wake up and the time my head hits the pillow around 1-2am I constantly keep myself busy. Can you believe on my days off, those 18 hours I'm awake, don't feel like enough time to do everything I want to do? Weird huh?

One major change I've made was finally going to the gym. With my back pain reaching its breaking point, and my job consisting of tons of manual labor, I knew I had to do something. I needed more money and I wasn't going to let the pain stop me. Why? Because my "dark thoughts" were returning with a vengeance. The half a year leading to my departure to rehab consisted of making it through a shift at work and going home and literally drinking the pain away. It was cheap and effective. Why spend money on a doctor when drinking myself stupid would numb the pain?

Drunk logic, clearly. In my defense, I was already way past the point of no return so that was just one of 100 different excuses to not stop drinking.

Which brings us to today. Working out at the gym and eating healthy has brought on results I hadn't seen in ages. I'm down about 23 lbs since September and while I still have a long way to go, I'm loving how I look and feel these days but it was after a few customer comments the past week that made me realize exactly how bad my alcoholism was effecting me.

It's hazy, but I do remember 2 years ago customers commenting on my weight loss and how much thinner I was becoming. Fuck, I even remember blogging about it, proud of my "dieting" and that the results were showing. But the means in which I got to that weight was disgusting and terrifying. Do you know how you drop 30 lbs in a few months? You don't eat food. Like seriously, nothing. You only consume alcohol. That's how. Because nothing you eat will stay down and the only thing that make you feel "normal" is booze. This wasn't my intention, mind you. The alcohol was already in control. I was powerless.

So a customer had some nice words to say to me yesterday about how healthy and skinnier I looked. She was very sweet and when I took her bottles out to her car she got very serious. She mentioned my weight loss from 2 years ago and how hard it was for her to watch me slowly deteriorate. She knew I was ill, but didn't know with what or why. It was eye-opening/heartbreaking to hear because what Drunk Sean back then wasn't thinking of was that these customers would see him every single day. And every day they watched him get worse and worse. When I started looking like Skeletor, they knew something was wrong. Drunk Sean wasn't fooling anyone, but what was anyone going to say? These are things I don't talk about often, especially the darker moments of my alcoholism because, simply, it's disgusting and depressing. But the more I speak of the dark times, the bigger impact it has on when people see what I look and act like now, especially after the past few months. Because I came back from rock bottom. I came back from rock bottom, like, tenfold.

2 years ago I could barely lift my arm out of bed to hit my alarm clock, let alone lift my own head off the pillow, without a couple shots of vodka to steady my nerves. I had no motivation to to do anything physical because, well, I couldn't. Nowadays, I'm up bright and early every morning. I get pissed when I wake up at 9am instead of 8am because that's one less hour I have of my day. Seriously, it bums me out. And since joining the gym back in mid December I have only missed 3 days so far and the results have truly paid off.

For the first time, in a very long time, I'm actually happy with where I am in my life...

Plus, they are making new Star Wars movies so how in the fucking hell could I not be happy?

*End Communication*