I really wish I could post as much as I want to I just don't have the time. I have more access to a computer these days but ironically the moments where I really need to express myself are usually those few moments while Im laying in bed. Reflecting on the day and such.
As you probably DIDN'T notice, the blog title has changed to Above the Influence. My buddy JC came up with the idea. At first it was going to be a temporary change until I came up with something different but the more I see it the more I like it. Plus it's pretty fitting, no?
So yesterday I completed Step 3 of 12 in the program so I'm pretty proud right now. Step 4 is gonna be a bit more difficult but I am definitely up for the work.
My time here at this Sober House will be coming to an end in the not to distant future. While I will miss it a part of me is really glad. When I first got here we were all one big happy family for the most part. most of us all got along and the program here was run a lot differently. But new people took over and changed everything and nothing has been the same since. When I used to look forward to getting off work and coming home to hang with my friends here has now turned into just dreading it. There are some people here i still get along with but the majority make me want to rip out my hair.
The one constant thought running through my mind whenever I'm at home is "Oh please god just shut the fuck up". I used to want children but this experience has tainted those dreams. Living with 20 people who act like they are 5 (ironically they are all older than I am) eventually takes its toll. Luckily Im stronger than I used to be and can handle these situations.
Damn, I was getting in the groove there but now Im getting kicked off the computer. Im gonna try and post more frequently since I always have something to get off my chest by my computer restrictions keep me from doing so. Blah.
Til the next episode...