Sunday, March 21, 2010

Jack Russell Terrorist

I have mentioned in the past my neighbor's dog. When my mom, brother, and I first moved into this condo complex the women we bought the place from warned us of "The Jack Russell Terrorist" that lived not even 6 feet from my door. She asked us if we had a dog, my mom said "yes" and this women said "May God have mercy on your soul". Boy she wasn't kidding. This dog barks just for the sake of barking. It barks at everything.

EVERYTHING!

When it's in the house it doesn't make a peep. Thank fucking Christ. But the moment the leash is put on that dog it's all downhill from then on. Every morning. Every FUCKING morning I am treated to what I call my "4th Alarm" I have my cellphone alarm, my alarm clock, my dog jumps on my bed to get fed for breakfast alarm, and then, technically my first alarm, the yapping dog from next door. The moment they put the leash on that dog and open the door to take it outside it starts barking. At nothing! Could you imagine owning a dog that every time you walked it it would bark for the entire time you were outside?? It's uncanny!! It's like the entire outside world upsets this creature and it wants it's voice heard. And I love animals, especially dogs, so for me to actually downright LOATHE a dog is saying something big.

They even put a small muzzle on this dog to try and shut it up but it doesn't work. How is that even possible??

So what inspired me to write this is that I was just out walking my dog at 10:30 at night. Low and behold I hear this barking in the distance and there's the fucking "Terrorist". Now this dog is obviously very tiny while mine is 80 lbs of pure fucking muscle Yellow Lab. My dog loves going for walks but once he hears another dog barking, he starts barking and going crazy. Now this is when I become the asshole. My dog and I are the terrible people because I am one of the few people not in my 50's in this neighborhood and I don't own a dog that could fit in my fucking pocket. Hence, young guy/big dog = bad people. Because when big dogs bark it's loud and deep and therefore evil. Just like me. I always wear a hoodie and sunglasses and am mostly seen at night (yes, sometimes I wear the sunglasses at night) so I look menacing. So I'm the bad guy. Always.

So just now when the "Terrorist" barked at us my dog went crazy and I had to use all my strength to pull him back. I mean, I think he really wants to kill this dog and I can't really blame him. But man my dog is strong. Imagine those Strong Man competitions with a dude using his teeth to pull a firetruck on a rope, thats how I look trying to keep Kenobi in check.

So this woman tonight, my God, she has the nerve to roll her eyes at me cause I have the strong dog going nuts. She obviously doesn't care about the fact that her yappy dog is barking non stop at 10:30 on a Sunday night annoying every condo they walk by. She walks the dog 3-4 times a day for about 20 minutes that barks the entire time!! Can you even imagine that? I don't know if she or her husband wear earplugs or it's just they are so old that they can't hear anything anyway but it is the most obnoxious bark in the universe.

But whatever, I'm the asshole apparently. Just typing this is getting me angry. I shall quit now. lol...

3 comments:

LeahPeah said...

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-check out my blog-

Seantaku said...

Of course I don't mind! The more followers the better!

Bluedrakon said...

~ GULP ~ "Kenobi, Spit out that Jack Russell right now! You know it will cause you gas."

~ BARF ~ "yip, yip, yip"

~ GULP ~ "Kenobi, Stop eating that poor little dog."

~ BARF ~ "~~~~~"