Thursday, June 21, 2012

Letters from Rehab #3

Alright, we are on to part 3. This one was fascinating for me to read again because it triggered a memory of someone I completely forgot. Which I will explain more afterwards...

Day 5
Normal morning, had breakfast, got my meds, and then there is a meeting. Everyone on campus had to take a piss test! (due to the girls getting kicked out last night). That took a few hours and made us miss a lot of class time so i don't give a shit. Overall has been a bizarre day because the schedule had to be shifted around so much. We got a lot more free time which fucking rocked. I'm in Study Hall right now as I write this because I finished all my homework. Go me!

Day 6
Woke up, got meds, and stood out on my balcony at 6am looking over the lake. It was beautiful. I've become very comfortable with this sleeping schedule. The day itself was fun/depressing. In the morning I noticed the cute girl running around the lake so I made my way down there and sat by this rock til she passed. We chilled and talked for a bit which was fun. She's married and has SEVEN fucking kids. Though it's a Brady Bunch situation, she only pumped out 3 herself. She's 35 too but she looks fucking 25. Unfortunately she leaves tomorrow so I'll have to find some other eye candy to look at during class. For someone I barely talked to and only knew for 5 days I'm really bummed she's leaving. I forget the term they called it in class but it's something like "Rehab Attachment." I'm also really upset because most of my "crew" is leaving in a few days, mainly my best bud Tony (Hey, Tony, hey). But everyone is already talking about exchanging numbers and emails. That way we can help each other through our addiction problems if need be.

Honestly guys, I'm so glad you organized this. It's just what I needed! The people are great, staff is awesome, and the scenery is pretty sweet. I wish we were allowed cameras though. You need pictures!

I'm pissed though because I should have been done with the detox building by now but they are saying I have two more days. Fuckers. By the time I move into the dorm 2 of my "best friends" will already be gone. 

It is absolutely mind boggling that I have gone this long without Facebook, Twitter, the internet in general, my PHONE, and video games. I finally have pay phone priviledges so I will be giving calls soon. I can only call on even days (Boys days) for 10 minutes at a time. Plus I need to call some other friends outside of "Our Group" who have no fucking clue where I am.

Wow, this one really surprised me. The girl that is mentioned in this entry and the entry prior is completely different from the girl I was thinking about. In fact, I had no memory of this girl until the moment I read "cute girl running around the lake" and everything came flooding back. I think her name might have been Jennifer but I'm not sure. As stated, we only knew each other 5 days but those 5 days feel like 5 weeks in rehab. Not in the sense that time drags on longer, but because you spend every waking hour with the same group of people from dawn until dusk. Depending on the people you decide to spend your time with this could be either really awesome or incredibly nauseating.

Looking back I'm having a hard time wrapping my head around the fact that my friend Tony left after only 7 days. It really, truly felt much longer than that at the time.

I described my writing in the previous entry as almost "child-like." As I read this letter I was reminded I was still on medication at the time. Even after being there several days we were still working hard to get all the poisons out of my body. So coupled with the medication, I remember being happy and feeling great, but also being emotionally damaged. There were so many things going through my head I'll probably share more about those times in a future post.

My "moaning" about having to stay in detox an extra 2 days only proves to me now how much I really needed it. 8 days in detox is NOT common. I realize now that their comments about missing my "winning personality" and explaining "we just don't want you to ever leave us" was their polite way of telling me, "you still need more help." Bless their hearts though, they really did make me feel welcome.

And for those who couldn't pick up on what was clearly a "Hey, Tony, Hey" Seinfeld reference, here it is...

1 comment:

bluedrakon said...

It is cool to get to know people in rehab as I am sure this is what they wanted. This way everyone has someone to talk with that also has an addiction. Kind of like "you do know where I am coming from' moment.

It is hard to make friends and then see them move on. But this should also give you strength to do the same (as it did). I am sure you will make new friends in your journey through life.