Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Midnight Massages

I'm still alive people and no I didn't forget about Reminiscing on Rehab. I just haven't had proper time to sit and write about it and sometimes looking back on my time there, even though I had a great time, can still be tough.

So anyway, for the past month or so I've been babysitting my friend's cat. Now I haven't had a cat in well over a decade so I'm not accustomed to cat behavior. This cat, Midnight, loves to knead and I mean LOVES it. While watching the television or playing video games he will always jump on my lap and start kneading my legs. Which is fine, for awhile, but eventually it can start to hurt.

Given my major back problems I figured I would take advantage of Midnight's kneading abilities and trick him into giving me a back massage. On a day when my back was feeling particularly shitty, Midnight had been kneading my leg so I decided to lay down on the floor to see if he would hop on my back and start kneading. Alas, this was wishful thinking and much like the Seinfeld episode I couldn't trick a house cat into submitting to "forcible massage." Who knew...?

That all changed one night at around 3am as I tossed and turned in my bed. I heard a loud "purr" and felt a sudden weight on my mattress. I opened my eyes to see what was going on but trying to find a black cat in darkness is, well, hard. I turned my body to lay on my stomach and my head on it's side. Lo and behold, the cat stepped up onto my back and started kneading away! He has magic paws, there is no question about that. While the majority of my pain is centralized in my lower back region the cat tended to favor my upper torso. Disappointing yes, but I'm not going to look a gift horse in the mouth. A free massage is a free massage.

After about 10 minutes of this I opened my eyes to realize the ridiculousness of the situation. Being the summer time I had on just my boxers and a thin white sheet as a blanket. The sheet was only covering my legs so just my back was exposed. I realized if anyone was to walk into the room at that moment it would seem as if I had opened up my own little massage parlor and trained a house cat in the ways of the Masseuse. This has become a regular routine between us and while some nights he jumps on the bed and drives me up the wall so I can't sleep, the majority of the time I embrace it.

Now if I can just train him to get my lower back I'd really be in business...

1 comment:

bluedrakon said...

LOL - one of my cats will get on my chest and massage the left side for a few seconds to 10 minutes depending on what is happening.

My wife sometimes walks in and jokes that I need to pay for the services.