Letters from Rehab #4

Almost for got to type this up. Though I'm glad I waited because now I'm downloading The Newsroom and this gives me something to do...

Day 7
Last day of detox! Tomorrow morning I move into the dorms, finally! I am so fucking pumped. During my downtime today I saw Jennifer goodbye (hot stuff!) and met her 6'4 huge ass husband. Good god he was scary. Later me and some of the crew sat by the lake and just chilled. We saw all these turtles, frogs, gophers, and the meanest bunch of geese you'll ever meet. The first day I got here the baby geese were so fucking tiny. 7 days later they are getting huge! Interested to see how big they get by the time I leave. We also caught a snapping turtle. Fucker was vicious!


I saw this line in my Alcoholics Anonymous book that I thought I would share...


"The alcoholic is like a tornado roaring his way through the lives of others: hearts are broken. Sweet relationships are dead"


I hope I have in no way hurt any of you. I got out of control. Alcoholism is truly a disease and I hate it.


But in other news, tonight was pretty damn depressing. The night before people leave we have a class where we have a send off. It's really an emotional experience. Everyone gets up and tells their stories and some will just bring you to tears. I'm losing 4 of my good friends tomorrow and my best friend Anthony the day after. they are all older dudes which sadly I relate to more cuz these young kids are fucking punks. Talking to them is like talking to every kid I hated in high school. All they talk about is one-upping each other on who has done the most drugs. Fucking pathetic. And the criminals walk around like they own the place like the jocks did in school. Loud, obnoxious, get the fuck out of my way attitude. Not much you can do about it though! I feel bad for them, really.


We actually had 2 people escape yesterday! They made a break for it and haven't  been seen since. Funny thing is 5 minutes after they bolted we got hit bu a HUGE storm. Those poor bastards were running down the street in the pouring rain. I'm having a great time so I don't see why someone would want to leave. But as Anthony (Yoda) said "When your an addict and you need your shit you fucking will do anything to get it"


They were both coke heads who needed their fix. Craziness.


I'm sure I've mentioned at certain points the giant spider that's outside my condo EVERY year in the same place, who I dubbed Shelob (Lord of the Rings). Well I think she followed me here because she is perched outside my door as we speak. Right next to my bench I sit on every morning. My room mate suggest we find Samwise Gamgee and have him use Sting. No such luck..



-So her name was Jennifer! Haha! I knew I'd remember. (See last post)

-Finding all those wild animals was a cool experience. Reading it over now doesn't do it justice. My typing sounds childish, again, but this time it's fitting. Because at that moment I was seeing the world in a way I hadn't seen in two decades. With wide eyed enthusiasm and innocence.

I watched those baby geese grow everyday I was there. It was like some sick metaphor staring us right in the face the whole time, almost TOO perfect and TOO cliche. As if the staff had planned it all along because as they grew, we grew, and so help me God they actually took to the sky for the very first time the day before I left. Again, super cliche but 100% accurate.

-Yes, there really was an enormous snapping turtle and YES I did say "caught." My buddy Jason took it upon himself to pick it up, shortly after watching it snap a think stick in half in the blink of an eye. Yeah, bad idea.

-That "tornado" line from the AA Book still sticks with me today.

-The criminals really did walk around like they owned the place. And why shouldn't they? Going to prison was the equivalent to being on the football team in high school, ergo, they were "better" than us. Bear with me here as the dynamics of rehab are ass backwards. More on this in a future blog.

-Ahh the escapees. Yes this did happen, more often than not unfortunately. You have to understand that this place was in the middle of nowhere up by the mountains. We were not fenced in and could leave at any time. But there was NO PLACE TO GO. So if someone made a break for it, there wasn't anywhere for you to go for miles and miles. I do not envy the poor guys who escaped that day and got punished by that rain cause it was terrible.

-Now I'll explain Shelob. This is the spider that for many years, parked it's ass right outside the front door of my condo. Every year, when the weather started to get warmer, that monstrosity of an arachnid was blocking the very entrance to my home. MY HOME! (Seinfeld whine) In rehab, when I saw a similar spider in my heavily medicated state of mind, I was absolutely certain the beast had hunted me down to torment me.

That's all for now.